The depth to which we understand this concept determines the quality of our relationships, our career, and our life.
First, what is communication? It's the vehicle through which anything meaningful gets done. A meaningful life is defined by meaningful relationships and meaningful work, both of which require communication.
But what is it, exactly? And why is it important?
Communication is the process of giving and receiving meaning. If our conversations don't feel meaningful, we are not communicating. We are simply killing time.
Don't misunderstand me. I'm not saying small talk is meaningless. Nor am I saying that conversations have to be deep to be meaningful.
It's entirely possible to make any conversation feel meaningful, irrespective of the content or duration. Meaning is derived from the quality of the connection.
So what the f*** is connection?
Well, it's similar to a phone connection. If you're on a bad line, you miss fragments of speech. You are more likely to miscommunicate and misunderstand.
In face-to-face communication, the quality of our line (our connection) is defined by our level of authenticity.
If we nod our head and smile when we don't fully understand the other person, we are being inauthentic.
If we wish we had more time to think of a response but we respond anyway, we are being inauthentic.
If someone says something ambiguous and we let them keep talking without clarifying, we're being inauthentic.
There are 100s of ways in which we undermine our own authenticity every day. These are mistakes. They deteriorate the quality of our connections with friends, family, intimate partners, and workmates.
Being inauthentic is like playing the game of life on dialup instead of fibre optic.
Now, this is the part where people get hung up on the idea that they can't act the same way around those four different categories of people. And that's not what I'm saying you should do.
Let me explain what authenticity is not.
Authenticity is NOT "I must always be as open as I am with my closest friends."
If we don't want to be open with someone, being open with them is inauthentic.
Authenticity is NOT "I don't give a f*** about anyone but me."
Remember that a meaningful life is partly defined by meaningful relationships. We must care about others, and we must factor that into our authenticty... but not at the expense of our selves or our work. It's a balancing act.
Authenticity is NOT "I must always show whatever emotion I am feeling."
If you do that, you deny the part of you that wants to hide the emotion. But if you completely ignore the emotion, you deny the part of you that wants the emotion acknowledged. The authentic response is somewhere in-between showing it and not showing it, depending on the situation.
Finding the right balance is my specialty.
So, what would your life look like if you upgraded the way you connect with others? I did it myself 10 years ago. I paid $5,000 for an intensive training in NLP. It was by far the most beneficial thing I've ever bought.
I noticed the results immediately. Midway through the two-week workshop I found myself connecting with strangers in a way I never had before. In a way I thought was reserved for people born with natural charisma (I was not.)
People opened up to me. I began to learn intimate details about the lives of others. This was a world that I'd never had access to before. A world that has allowed me to grow rapidly and continuously for the past 10 years.
It was authentic communication that allowed me to double my salary and become the Head of Sales & Marketing after just one year at a startup, with zero prior business experience. (I'd been a Civil Engineer before that.)
It allowed me to go from stumbling on my words whenever I talked to a woman, to leading men's retreats in exotic overseas locations where I demonstrated how to create instant connections in the street — just by being authentic.
Today it allows me to have a nice apartment in an expensive city, with a 20hr workweek working for myself, doing what I love.
Now, I know some of you might be hesitant to work with a coach. You might have preconceived ideas about what coaching is. You may have worked with a coach before.
I am not a coach. I'm a specialist in authentic communication, a concept that I developed.
My work is not theoretical. You won't have to wonder if it's working. You'll see concrete, tangible results from every call, in all types of relationships and conversations, as well as in your career.
If I help you communicate more authentically, think about what that might change in your life. What would be possible that's not possible now? What price tag would you put on an endless source of inner wisdom? Because that's what your authenticity is. That's what you'd be tapping into.
If you're curious and want to find out if we'll be a good fit to work together, book a free call at the bottom of the page.
Working with Pete has led to mindset and life changes which in my opinion are priceless. He is one of the most authentic people I have met and you can tell he genuinely wants everyone to succeed.
He leaves you with skills and practices that enable continual reflection and improvement. This has changed my trajectory and led to genuine relationships in dating and friendships at a deeper level than I have experienced before. My only regret is that I had not done this work 10 years back and I am excited to see how my life changes as a result of the tactical skills, mindset shifts and authentic communication practices I have learned. As a concrete example, I am having more fun on dates than I have ever had while determining compatibility faster.
I have spent a ton on self improvement over the years and this is one of the best investments I have made in myself.
From Michael, client.
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